Defying Dunny-Roll Dan #1

Criminal at large Daniel Michael Andrews was a hot favourite to win the Victorian state election in November.

But then Jim Cousens realised that the police state crap sustaining Andrews was the result of a shortage of toilet paper in the giant toilet block in Spring Street otherwise known as Parliamemt House.

So now Jim is calling on the people to rise up in a flood of toilet rolls to wipe Andrews away.

Yesterday bon vivant and man about town Samson has lifted this campaign to another level by creating an installation artwork which exposes the work of Christo for the pretentious crap that it is.

Lest We Forget !!!!!!!

(to wipe ourselves clean)

Geoff Fox, 11 September, 2022, Toilet Australis

Maradona: The Parentage Questions

Some people consider it impolite to question somebody else’s parentage.

Especially the parentage of a living legend who is now dead.

Film-maker Jim Cousens takes a different attitude:

“The difficult questions must be asked.” thunders Jim, “Especially if those questions give me the opportunity to make an award winning, ground breaking dockamentry film box office smash before the end of the financial year.

There is absolutely no truth to the rumour that my next movie will be called: ‘Hitler’s Love Child: The Hand Of God.’

There is absolutely no truth to this rumour because that particular title just isnt sexy enough to pull in the really big bucks.

I am working on it.

Watch this space.”

Terra Nullius, 11th February, 2021

Saving The Australian Constitution

The 2 minute movie below tells two initially similar but then diverging stories at once. I predict that many people will find it bewildering. (On top of the fact that some people will find the comic character Jim Cousens offensive. He is in the Archie Bunker/Alf Garnett/Les Patterson tradition. With, perhaps, a touch of Sandy Stone and more than a touch of Don Rickles.)

People who belong to Mensa or are very confident in their intellectual abilities should watch the film in the usual way

For other people I recommend the following three stage method:

A. First, turn the volume to zero and focus on reading the subtitles to get one of the two stories on its own.

B. Second, turn the volume back up and then close your eyes and listen to the other story. (NB the first 12 seconds are silent.)

C. Thirdly, open your eyes and replay it both watching and listening to see if you enjoy this fusion of two stories or not.

For non-Australians, there is a glossary of uniquely Australian terms and names below this film link. Those people not familiar with Australian slang may find it useful to read the glossary first.


barby ……. a barbecue

bastard ……. both a term of abuse and affection in Australia

be on the blower ……. to be on the telephone; to make a phone call

budgie smugglers …….. extremely brief male swimming costume ……. I recall Tony Abbott becoming famous for wearing these when his chief political opponent was then Prime Minister Kevin Rudd …… Rudd was famous for sentences which lasted as long as other peoples’ paragraphs …… politically his budgie smugglers emphasised Abbott’s masculinity …….. I recall hearing one conservative political commentator say about Abbott, “At last Australia has got a political leader who is not a lesbian in strides.”

Cathy Freeman ……. an aboriginal Olympic athlete whose status in the hearts of Australians is similar to Muhammad Ali in America; she became famous early in her career for controversially running with the aboriginal flag held above her head after a victory when she was representing Australia; she was chosen to light the Olympic flame in Sydney in 2000 and her victory in the 400 meters race at that Olympics was one of the most widely anticipated and joyfully celebrated victories in Australian sporting history.

centrelink application ……. an application for assistance from the federal government of Australia;it commonly takes the form of applying for unemployment benefits; I am not suggesting that former Prime Minister Tony Abbott really is unemployed; its a joke; in reality, he is a very busy and highly respected (by conservatives and by the less rabid of his progressive opponents) public intellectual whom I regard as one of the most brilliantly creative Australian Prime ministers of all time.

esky ……. a portable cooler most often used in warm weather to carry food and drinks

get off the line ……. terminate a telephone conversation

have ’em over ……. accept them as vsitiors

Lizzie ……. an affectionate nickname for Queen Elisabeth the Second or anyone else called Elisabeth.

piss off ……. to go away

prawn ……. shrimp

Sam Kekovich ……. a former Australian Rules football player famous for promoting the consumption of lamb as a “lambassador”

ScoMo ……. the current Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison.

Shane Gould …….. an Olympic swimmer who won three gold medals, a silver medal and a bronze at the Munich Olympics at the age of 15, she retired when she was 17, because of the pressures of being a public figure …….. Australia dose not always treat its champions well ……..

strides ……. trousers (see budgie smugglers above for contrast and context)

Strine ……. vernacular Australian English

three word slogan ……. Tony Abbott was famous for his three word slogans such as “Stop The Boats” (a reference to the issue of illegal immigrants/a.k.a. asylum seekers arriving by sea usually from the north ) and “Axe The Tax”……

Geoff Fox, 27th February, 2020, Terra Nullius